All Hail the Randomness
by Zutarian5
Summary: Weirdness...Randomness...Sexy Bishies..and lots of comedy! Prepare to be amazed by the stupidity! The following feature contains NO Yaoi. KougaijixYaone GokuxLirin
1. The Beginning of a New Beginning

Chapter 1: The beginning of a New Beginning

--

Day: Monday

Time: 5:28 am.

Weather: Sunny Morning

At: The Sanzo Party

Location: Some random inn

Current Occupation: Sleeping

--

Hakkai: -opens eyes, smiles, stretches, then gets up- Hmmmm……What a wonderful morning. goes to take a shower

-Gojyo walks into the living room(he just came back from a girlfriends house)-

Hakkai: -singing tone- La la la la la what a B-eautiful daayyyy! The sun is shining, Gokus' not whining-

Gojyo: -confused- What the hell? -walks to bathroom door and puts his ear onto that door-

Hakkai: and Sanzo's not yelling for coff-eeeeeeee!! Oh, yes! Today is a wonderful-

Gojyo: Hey!?

Hakkai: -female screaming voice- AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! -falls down in shower-

Gojyo: Let me guess…………Hakkai.

Hakkai: Ow! GOJYO!! -puts towel on and opens the door- Gojyo what are you doing?! You scared me by yelling like that.

Gojyo: It had to be stopped. Your singing could kill and just that fact of you singing for NO REASON was kinda creepy.

Hakkai: -mad- Well, sorry, Gojyo. Now just go away. -closes door-

Gojyo: Fine. But if you start singing again, I'm gonna take Sanzos' gun and shoot you. -walks to his room-

**1 hour later……………**

Hakkai: Breakfast is ready!! -happy, chibi smile-

-Gojyo walks over and sits down-

Hakkai: Good morning, Gojyo! -smile-

Gojyo: Yeah. -starts to eat-

-they hear a rumbling sound coming from Gokus' room-

Gojyo: I guess the monkey is up.

Goku: -door slams open- BBBBBBRRRRREEEEEAAAAAAKKKKKKKFFFFFAAAASSSSTTTTTT!! BREAKFAST BREAKFAST BREAKFAST BREAKFAST!! runs over and starts snarfing the food

-Sanzo walks in half asleep-

Gojyo: Hey, monkey!! Stop eating all the food!! -fights back-

Hakkai: Good morning, Goku. Good morning, Sanzo.

-Sanzo sits down staring into dark abyss-

Sanzo: Coffee.

Hakkai: Right away. -practically skips off to make him coffee-

Gojyo: Well, looky here. Grandpa's up. (surrendered his battle against Goku)

Sanzo: Die. -points gun at Gojyo- I'm too tired this morning to deal with your pointless actions and worthless words, kappa.

Gojyo: -ducks down in fear that Sanzo will hit him- What is that supposed to mean?!

Sanzo: It means, you're too stupid for my time. So for that, I will kill you.

Hakkai: Please, no blood shed this early.

-Goku is still eating all the food-

Sanzo: Hmph! -hits monkey with fan- Chew your food.

Goku: Ow!! Okay, okay. Fine. -slows food consumption pace-

Gojyo: Well, are we going to drive today?

Hakkai: Yes. I believe so.

Gojyo: Damn. There's some women I didn't get that play around with. -sulks-

Goku: Play? You means like tag and stuff?

Gojyo: Yeah, adult tag. -mischievous smile-

Hakkai: Gojyo, please don't talk like that right now.

Gojyo: Oh, so you want me to say what it really is called? -bigger mischievous smile-

Hakkai: Oh, please Gojyo, no!

Gojyo: Fine, then.

Sanzo: You're sick.

Gojyo: Shut up!

**3 more hours later when they are driving……………**

Goku: I'm hungry.

Gojyo: How the hell can you be hungry!! You ate all the food for breakfast!! And we stopped an hour ago to buy some food, WHICH YOU ATE!! -mad-

Goku: I can't help it. I'm just really hungry.

Sanzo: Get over it. You don't need any more food.

Goku: But-but!! I could starve to death if I don't eat!!

Sanzo: You of all people can't starve to death.

Goku: You don't know that!! I could die right now of starvation!!

Gojyo: That's impossible, monkey. You just ate!!

Goku: But, I'm still hungry!!

Hakkai: Oh, Goku. Please, just calm down. We'll be at the next town soon and we'll eat there.

Goku: It betta be soon.

Hakkai: It will.

**At 3:11 pm…………………**

Goku: I'm gonna die!! It's been soooooooooo long!! Hakkai you lied!!

Hakkai: Well, ummmmm………… we won't be able to get to the next town for six more hours. I'm sorry Goku.

Goku: SIX MORE HOURS!! I don't have any food!! I can't last that long!! I'll-I'll-I'll DIE!!

Gojyo: YOU STUPID MONKEY!! YOU ATE ALL THE FOOD!! NOW, I'LL GO HUNGRY!

-shakes Goku back and forth-

Sanzo: SHUT UP!! -shoots gun in air-

Hakkai: Now, now. It's not that long. We will just have to last till then.

Gojyo: Hmph! I hate you, Goku.

Goku: -sad- I'm sorry.

**At Houtou Castle……………**

Kougaiji: -sighs in pleasure then gets out of bed (he just woke up) walks out of his room(still in pjs)walks over into kitchen to see Dokugakuji eating a donut- Hey, Dokugaku.

Dokugakuji: Finally. The prince is up.

Kougaiji: -sarcastic- Ha ha, very funny. So, what's for breakfast? -gets milk out of refrigerator and pours some into a glass-

Dokugakuji: Yaone isn't gonna make breakfast. Instead, she gave me these as a substitute. -points at donuts- She said she took them from Niis' office.

**With Nii…………**

Nii: -sighs in pleasure- Finally, I get to sit here with my coffee and eat my delicious do- -looks down and sees his donuts have been stolen- WHY?! WHY, GOD?? WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS!! -falls on knees and cries-

**Back with Kou and Dokugaku…………………**

Kougaiji: -confused- Okay, now what are those? - looks at donuts-

Dokugakuji: -shocked- You don't know what these are?

Kougaiji: Yeah, I've never seen it before.

Dokugakuji: ARE YOU CRAZY??

Kougaiji: Um, what?

Dokugakuji: YOU NEED TO TRY ONE!! -grabs Kou, pushes him against the wall, and tries to shove a donut into his mouth-

-Kou grabs Dokugakus' arms and tries to push him back-

Dokugakuji: You……must……EAT ONE!!

Kougaiji: Why? They look horrible!! -still struggling to keep donut away-

Dokugakuji: EAT IT!! -forces donut closer to Kou-

Kougaiji: NO!! (he is losing)

-Yaone runs in-

Yaone: What going on?! -sees Dokugaku trying to force a donut into Kous' mouth-

Dokugakuji: JUST EAT IT!! -shoves donut closer-

Yaone: Dokugaku! What are you doing?! -runs over to Dokugaku and Kou and tries to break them apart-

-Dokugakuji shoves donut into Kous' mouth-

Dokugakuji: Ha ha ha! -takes a step back- I win. -smiles victoriously-

Kougaiji: -cough- -cough- I'm gonna die. -slides down onto the floor-

Yaone: -worried- Kougaiji-sama, are you alright?

Dokugakuji: He'll be fine. It was just a donut.

Kougaiji: It was disgusting. -wipes donut remains off his face-

Dokugakuji: You are crazy!! Yaone, I swear something's wrong with him.

Yaone: Nothing is wrong with him, but with you I think otherwise. You just made Kougaiji-sama eat a donut, I think. (doesn't quite get what the heck was going on in the first place)

Dokugakuji: Well, he needed to try one and I know for sure he wasn't going too.

Kougaiji: Hmph. spoiled, brat pout

Yaone: worried Kougaiji-sama, are you sure you are alright?

Kougaiji: My pride is damaged, but I'll be fine. -still pouting-

Dokugakuji: Ha ha ha ha ha!

Yaone: This isn't right.

-Yaone brings out remote and starts to rewind all that happened, but pauses at a moment when Kou is just standing there looking really sexy (Yaone sighs in complete joy) continues to rewind-

Kougaiji: -sighs in pleasure then gets out of bed (he just woke up) walks out of his room(still in pjs)walks over into kitchen to see Dokugakuji eating a **sandwich-** Hey, Dokugaku.

Dokugakuji: Finally. The prince is up.

Kougaiji: -sarcastic- Ha ha, very funny. So, what's for breakfast? -gets milk out of refrigerator and pours some into a glass-

Dokugakuji: Oh ho! Look at the time, Kou. It's way passed breakfast time.

Kougaiji: Fine then. What's for lunch? -takes sip from glass-

Dokugakuji: It's passed lunch too. -grin-

Kougaiji: Crap. -puts glass onto counter- Well, is there anything TO eat? -looks in refrigerator then the cabinets-

Dokugakuji: Nope. This is all the food we have. -eats the rest of sandwich- And now it's gone. Sorry, Kou.

Kougaiji: Jerk. -glares-

Dokugakuji: Oh, you'll be fine. Yaone said she'll get some groceries later. -smiles-

Kougaiji: Fine. We're going to go fight the Sanzo Party in a little while, so get ready. -starts to walk out-

Dokugakuji: Okay. You better get ready too.

**With the Sanzo Party………………………**

Goku: Starvation…………

Gojyo: Aggravation……………

Sanzo: Irritation. -brings out newspaper-

Gojyo: Man, I'm bored. -stares up into the sky-

Hakkai: Well, maybe Goku will play a game of cards with you.

Gojyo: pokes Goku Play cards with me. -poke……poke……poke………poke-

Goku: I'm to hungry to move.

Gojyo: Too bad. -poke……poke………poke-

Goku: -annoyed- Stop it.

Gojyo: No. Play cards. -poke……poke……poke-

-Gojyo continues to poke Goku-

-Goku slaps Gojyo across the face-

Gojyo:- shocked and depressed- Goku?

Goku: -teary- I've had enough!! I don't want to be around you anymore; all you do is push me around and irritate me!! I'm leaving!! I hate you!! All of you!!- jumps out of jeep and starts running away-

Gojyo: -mad- Well, fine! Go!

Sanzo: -sad- No, Goku!! You can't leave!!

Goku: Why not?! You hate me!!

Sanzo: No, I don't. All I want to do is protect you and I don't really know how to say this but…I care about you Goku for you are my son.

Hakkai: -shocked- Holy-!!

Goku: Wh-what?

Sanzo: The Merciful Goddess and I had you.

Goku: You mean, I have parents?

Gojyo: The Merciful Goddess!! But, I love her!! She said she loves me too!! How-how could you, Sanzo!! -slaps Sanzo- She's even your Aunt!!

Sanzo: She doesn't love you!! And it doesn't matter if she might be my Aunt!! She was just trying to get you to feel better!! You're just a failed experiment!!

Gojyo: Failed experiment?!

Sanzo: You mean you don't know??

Goku: Sanzo? Are you lying to me?

Sanzo: No. I am your father. -hugs Goku-

Gojyo: But, what do you mean by failed experiment?!

Hakkai: What is going on??

-suddenly a duck falls from the sky and hit's Hakkai on the head-

Hakkai: -opens his eyes to see that Yaone is poking him- Huh? What?

Yaone: Hello. -smiles-

Hakkai: What is going on?

Yaone: Well, you were asleep and so is the rest of the Sanzo Party.

Hakkai: I see. But, if we were asleep, why didn't you take the Scripture?

Yaone: Kougaiji-sama tried, but Sanzo-san keeps slapping him when he got near. It was very odd.

**Previously……………**

Kougaiji: Wow. The whole Sanzo Party are asleep.

Dokugakuji: Yeah, maybe you should try to get the Scripture from Sanzo. (bad idea)

Kougaiji: Good idea. -walks over to Sanzo and reaches for the Scripture-

Yaone: -worried- Be careful.

Kougaiji: Come' on, Yaone. What's the worst he can do? He's asleep.

-Sanzo slaps Kougaiji across the face(still asleep) Kougaiji falls onto the ground-

Dokugakuji: -laughs histaricly- I guess that's the worst! -still laughing-

-Yaone runs over-

Kougaiji: Ow! Bastard!!-gets up-

Yaone: Kougaiji-sama!! Are you alright?!

Kougaiji: I'm fine. -tries again, but gets slapped- That's it!! -jumps into jeep(without stepping on someone) and reaches for the Scripture-

-Sanzo spins around and slaps Kou again. Kou falls onto Gojyo and part of Goku-

Kougaiji: Ow! -looks to see he landed on Gojyo AHH!! jumps off trembling in fear-

-Dokugaku still laughing-

Yaone: Kougaiji-sama? -runs over to him-

Kougaiji: -sigh- Time to try again.

(after awhile he keeps getting slapped so he stops trying and Dokugaku was laughing the whole time)

**Blast to the Future!! - where we last left off with Yaone and Hakkai……**

Hakkai: That's interesting.

Yaone: Yes. Very. -gazes over at Kougaiji-

Hakkai: Miss Yaone?

-Kougaiji is poking Goku-

Kougaiji: Get up.

-monkey starts to fart(a real nasty one) snore, drool, roll, scratch himself(in odd places) and does the cycle over again-

Kougaiji: (he says to Goku) -grossed out- You are the most disgusting creature I have ever met.

-Goku is still repeating the cycle-

Dokugakuji: Not having any luck?

Kougaiji: No. You?

Dokugakuji: Me neither. But, he's dreaming of a hot Brazilian chick in a bikini serving him beer as he is being waited upon by dozens of other hot chicks.

Kougaiji: And how to you know this?

Dokugakuji: It's written all over his face. -points at Gojyo-

-Gojyo is laying there with a big smile that just spells perverted disaster-

Kougaiji: I see what you mean. -starts poking Goku again-

Dokugakuji: Yeah.

-Goku kicks Gojyo in the face. Gojyo wakes up-

Gojyo: Gah! What?! -stumbles up-

Dokugakuji: How do you do, Gojyo? Glad to see you back from planet weird. -smile-

Gojyo: -mad- Meh!! What do you want?

Dokugakuji:-in funny Italian voice- To fight you.

Gojyo: Fine. -starts fighting Dokugaku-

Kougaiji: WAKE UP!! -twitch-

-Goku wakes up-

Goku: -yawn- Huh? What? (still sleepy)

Kougaiji: Finally. Get up. -throws Goku out of jeep-

Goku: Ow! That hurt!!

Kougaiji: I don't care. I've been trying to get you up for 45 minutes!! Now, fight me before I get REALLY pissed off.

Goku: Fine, fine. Sorry. I didn't know I'm here to fight you whenever YOU feel like it. Gosh! -starts to fight Kougaiji-

-Yaone is still gazing at Kougaiji-

Hakkai: Miss Yaone? -waves hand in front of her face- Are you there?

Yaone: Hmmmm? Oh! Sorry, Hakkai-san. -blushes for she thinks he noticed what she was doing (he didn't)-

Hakkai: That's okay. -smiles- Well, It looks like everyone else is fighting; why don't we?

Yaone: Yes! Of course. -smiles and starts to fight Hakkai-

-Sanzo(still sleeping) slowly falls out of jeep landing on his head then flipping over-

Hakuryu: Kyu?

-Sanzo starts snoring-

Hakuryu: -you're an idiot tone- Kyu. -turns into dragon and flies up in a tree and lands on a branch-

Mysterious voice: (he's in the forest watching them) Hmmmmm. Well, isn't this wonderful. The Sanzo Party are fighting Kougaiji-sama, good. He can wear them out for me. -evil laughter- I hope they know what's coming for them. -continues evil laugher-

-Hakuryu flies over and craps on him-

Hakuryu: -mockingly- Kyu, Kyu, Kyu. flies away

Mysterious voice: Darn you, you horrible bird!! Hmph. That bird tainted my jacket. You will pay!!

--

To be continued in chapter 2!!

**Urasai: Valentines Day**

Goku: Hey, Hakkai? What day is today?

Hakkai: It's February 14th.

Goku: You mean, it's Valentines Day!! Hurrah!! -runs into bedroom-

Sanzo: I hate Valentines Day. -opens newspaper-

Hakkai: Oh, it's not that bad. -smiles-

Gojyo: VALENTINES DAY!!

-phone rings-

Gojyo: DON'T ANSWER IT!! It's my old girlfriends!!

Hakkai: Oh. -backs away from phone-

Goku: c-omes out of bedroom in a giant heart outfit; throwing petals everywhere, skipping- Happy Valentines Day everyone! smiles

Gojyo: -shocked- Holy-!

Sanzo: Gasp. -continues to read newspaper-

Hakkai: -shocked- Goodness.

Sanzo: And that's why I hate Valentines Day.

-Goku skips around singing songs-

-answering machine turns on-

Gojyos' girlfriends: WE LOVE YOU GOJYO!! OMG!! EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK!! GOJYO!! I LOVE YOUOOOOOOOO-!!

-Gojyo rips cord out-

Gojyo: Man, that's annoying.


	2. All Hail Chicken Man!

Chapter 2: All Hail Chicken Man!!

**Previously: The Kougaiji Gang are over at the Sanzo Party fighting them, Sanzo is dead asleep because he's just plain tired, Yaone has been gazing at Kougaijis' HOT BODY the whole time(can you guess why) and some freak is hiding in the woods waiting to attack the Sanzo Party. Man, that's a lot of crap. Moving on……………………………**

**--**

Day: Monday

Time: 4:05 pm

Weather: Sunny Afternoon

At: The Sanzo Party(the Kougaiji Gang are there too)

Location: Outskirts of a random forest

Current Occupation: Fighting

--

-All kicking butt-

Hakkai: Oh, Miss Yaone. I forgot to ask you. -dodges bomb-

Yaone: Yes? -throws another bomb at Hakkai-

Hakkai: How have you been? -smiles-

Yaone: Quite well, really. -smiles-

Hakkai: That's good. Someone as wonderful as you should always be having a good day. -smiles- (total flirt)

Yaone: Awe, Thank you. -blushes-

-Kougaiji saw what just happened and gets very mad so he takes his anger out on Goku by punching him ten times as hard(and we all know why he's so upset)-

Goku: Ow! Dang it, Kougaiji. That hurt much more then-. -Kougaiji kicks him ten times as hard than usual-

Gojyo: Wow. Looks like Kougaiji picked up the pace over there. -looks over to see Kou beating the living crap out of Goku-

Dokugakuji: Wonder why?

Yaone: You're very sweet, Hakkai. -smiles-

Hakkai: Thank you. (what the heck did they start talking about? No clue)

Yaone: I just feel so bad that I have to kill you. -sigh- It's so sad when good people have to die.

Hakkai: Don't feel bad. I don't mind. -smiles- But, I won't say I'm a good person. Really, I'm not.

Yaone: You are, Hakkai-san. You're very kind, sweet, and generous. -smiles-

Hakkai: happy Thank you. -smiles-

-Kou gets even more angry -

**A few minutes later……………**

Hakkai: But I have to say, I do envy Kougaiji and Dokugakuji. (what are the talking about? Still no clue)

Yaone: Why?

Hakkai: Because, they get to be with you all day and every day; While I only get to see you when we must fight.

Yaone: Oh, It's not that great. -blushes-

Hakkai: Yes, it is. It's quite an honor to see your beautiful, smiling face.

-Yaone blushes even more-

**With Kanans' ghost in Heaven……………**

Kanan: -pissed off- HELL NO!!

**Back on Earth……………………**

-Kougaiji is pissed-

Kougaiji: -punches Goku- Let's go. -starts to walk back to the dragons-

Dokugakuji: Go? Now?

Kougaiji: -pissed- Yes, now.

Dokugakuji: Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a bunch.

-Kougaiji punches Dokugakuji in the face, Dokugakuji falls onto the ground and slides a few feet (ouchy)-

Kougaiji: Shut up and move your ass!! -starts walking again-

Dokugakuji: Sheesh, man. -rubs his right cheek(his face cheek, that's where Kou hit him) and gets up and follows Kou-

Yaone: -to Hakkai- Ummmm…I have to go.

Kougaiji: Yaone?!

Yaone: I'm coming. Good-bye, Hakkai-san. -runs to Kougaiji-

-Kougaiji glares a 'Stay away from her or I'll kill you.' glare to Hakkai and Hakkai glares a 'Bring it!' glare to Kougaiji-

**With Lirin at Houtou Castle…………………**

Lirin: Hmmmmmmmm…………-sigh-………I'm bored. Wait, I have an idea! Hey, guards come in here.

Guard 1: Yes, Lady Lirin? -they come in-

Lirin: Yep, It needs to be done. -looks at guards-

Guard 2: What needs to be done?

Lirin: I'm gonna give you a make-over!

Guard 1 and 2: WHAT?!

**5 Minutes later……………**

Lirin: Now, come out.

Guard 1: Do I have too?

Lirin: Yes! Now, come out!

-Guard 1 comes out dressed in a mini-skirt that's dark blue denim, a green short sleeve top that says "I'm your toy.", high heeled boots with leggings, a necklace, and sparkly, dangly (it's what my mom calls earrings that dangle) earrings-

Lirin: You look beautiful! -smiles-

Guard 1: I'm a man!!

Lirin: But, you look great!

-Guard 1 is pissed-

Lirin: Now, you come out too.

Guard 2: Okay. -comes out in a pink dress that goes down to his knees, (it's sleeve-less), high heels, a pink purse, and lots of jewelry-

Lirin: Wow, you look great. -smiles-

Guard 2: You think so? I thought it would be better if it was a light lavender color. It would match my skintone better.

Lirin: You're right. But, still you look really good. See! You look spunky and flirty -points at Guard 1- and you look innocent and peppy. -points at Guard 2-

-Guard 1 twitches-

Guard 1 : I hate this.

Guard 2: Oh, come on. You look cute. -smiles-

Guard 1: Cute?! I'm in hell. -sulks-

Lirin: You guys are so much fun! -smiles-

Guard 2: Yay!! -smiles-

**Back with the Sanzo Party and the Kougaiji Gang………………………**

Gojyo: Hey, monkey? You okay? -Goku is laying on the ground lifeless (Kougaiji punched him and he never got up)-

Goku: Ow. -sits up- Where is he? I'm gonna kill him for that!

Gojyo: Kougaiji's leaving.

Goku: WHAT?! Hey, you gay hookerwanna-be, you can't just walk away like that!!

-Kougaiji blasts a massive fire blast from is arm at Goku, Goku gets hit and well……he got hit meaning PAIN-

Kougaiji: -pissed- Don't you ever call me a 'gay hooker wanna-be ' EVER AGAIN!!

Goku:- laying on ground- Got it. Ow. Now, I'll seriously gonna kill him next time we fight.

Gojyo: Wow, you got burned.

Goku: Lame pun, Gojyo.

Gojyo: Dokugakuji's rubbing off on me, it's kinda scary.

-the Kougaiji Gang leave-

Mysterious Voice: Well, Sanzo Party. It looks like it's my turn to kill you.

Gojyo: Who the heck?

Mysterious Voice: It is I, CHICKEN MAN!! -a Youkai jumps out of a bush dressed in a chicken outfit- Say your prays Sanzo Party for my evil chickens will peck every inch of flesh off your bones!! Come forth chickens!! -a dozen chickens come out of a bush and are pecking the ground in search for food(they're not paying an attention to what he is saying)-

Hakkai: Oh my.

-Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai start to laugh-

Chicken Man: Do not laugh at me, instead taste your dooooom!!

-still laughing-

Goku: You are pathetic, man. -laughs-

Gojyo: Are you by any chance related to Zakuro?

Chicken Man: No, I'm not.

Hakkai: You're going to try are kill us with…………chickens?! -laughs-

Chicken Man: You must not know the extent of my power. Therefore I must show you. BA-COCK!!

-a chicken grows to he height of a three story building-

-Gojyo, Goku, and Hakkai stop laughing-

Goku: Whoa, that's a big chicken.

Hakkai: Indeed.

Chickenzilla: BBBBAAAAAA-COOOOCKKKKK!!

Chicken Man: Feel my wrath!!

(Sanzo is still asleep)

**With the Kougaiji Gang……………………………**

(they got back and have been home for 2 minutes)

Yaone: Is something wrong, Kougaiji-sama? You look angry.

Kougaiji: Yes, Something is wrong!

Yaone: Oh, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?

Kougaiji: -yells- You've done enough!! You've done **WAY** more then enough!

Yaone: -teary- I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. -Yaone starts to cry(she's crying because she bases her life on making Kougaiji happy, but instead she made him yell at her there forth she is really upset with herself)-

-Dokugakuji is standing there silent-

Kougaiji: Awe, (the 'awe' is in a 'oh no' voice) Don't cry. Please, don't cry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's not your fault, really. -panics- -punches wall with fist- I-I'm such an idiot! I shouldn't have yelled at you. You didn't do anything………………… I'm so sorry. -looks over at Yaone then walks over to her- Please forgive me. (he really is sorry) (whoa, he gives in to the crying/sad act really easily)

Yaone: -shocked- Ah, ummmmmmmmm………of……course. -wipes away her tears-

Kougaiji: Thank you. -smiles-

-Yaone smiles too-

Dokugakuji: Well, that was shocking. I'm just gonna go do something, okay?

Kougaiji: Do whatever you need to do.

Dokugakuji: Okay. -walks away-

Yaone: Ummmm…………Kougaiji-sama? What were you mad about?

Kougaiji: Huh? Oh,………well…………I can't say.

Yaone: Oh, all right. -smiles- Just asking. Well, I need to go start on dinner.

Kougaiji: Okay. See you later. -smiles- -starts walking to his room, he passes Lirins' room and sees her guard all dressed up- Holy-!! What the heck happened to you guys?!

Guard 1: Lady Lirin, my Lord.

Kougaiji: Ah, well take that crap off and put your uniforms back on.

Guard 2: -disappointed- Yes, sir.

-Kougaiji walks to his room-

**With the Sanzo Party………………………**

-all stare at Chickenzilla-

Goku: Crap.

Chickenzilla: BA-COCK!!

Chicken Man: MUHUHAHAHA!! Die, Sanzo Party! Die!!

-Chickenzilla starts to chase after Gojyo-

Gojyo: AHHHH! -running away- Why chase me?! Chase Hakkai, you stupid chicken!!

Hakkai: Humph! -mad-

Goku: Hey, you big, ugly, fat, turd leave Gojyo alone!!

-Chickenzilla turns around and starts chasing Goku-

Goku: I didn't say 'chase me'!! -runs away-

Hakkai: What I don't understand is why don't we kill the chicken and leave it at that. (he's hiding behind a rock with Gojyo planning their escape)

Gojyo: Because…………I don't know.

Hakkai: I see. Well, lets go kill it! Charge!! -runs out from behind rock and runs toward Chickenzilla-

Chicken Man: HAHAHAHA!! You can't kill her because you'll be to preoccupied keeping YOURSEVLES alive!!

-all the chickens grow fangs and run after Gojyo and Hakkai-

Gojyo: AHHHH! Not cool! -running away from chickens-

-a mysterious rock falls from the sky and hits Sanzo on the head-

Sanzo: Huh? What? Is it morning already? -slowly opens his eyes to see chicken chaos- Oh, no. I'm still dreaming. Well, better get up and continue what I usually do in my dreams. -brings out sombrero and accordion and starts to sing love songs to one of the savage chickens (he put the rock that hit him is his robe)-

Goku: SANZO?! What the heck are you doing?! -stares at Sanzo in disbelief-

Sanzo: I'm singing, monkey-san. -continues-

Goku: What?

Sanzo: It's what I love to do in my dreams.

Goku: You're not dreaming.

Sanzo: Yes, I am. Why else would Gojyo be chased by a big chicken and Dances with flightless Birds be dancing with flightless birds. -looks at Hakkai (Hakkai is running away from the chicken, but it looks like some awkward dance)-

Goku: Hakkai? Oh, you of all people should know that's normal to him.

Sanzo: True. But, I'm still dreaming. -starts to yodel-

Goku: Gah! My ears!! Sanzo stop!! -runs over to Sanzo and slaps him upside the head-

Sanzo: Hmmm..oh..Hi, Goku. I had a weird dream.

Goku: You weren't dreaming, moron.

-Sanzo sees Gojyo being chased by a big chicken, Hakkai doing some weird dance, and himself still wearing a sombrero-

Sanzo: Oh.

Goku: Yeah.

Sanzo: Forget everything you saw and heard.

Goku: Gladly.

-Gojyo runs behind a rock to catch his breath-

Chicken Man: You cannot escape, Sanzo Party!

Sanzo: Well, lets begin. -joins in the chaos with Goku-

Gojyo: Man, this world is screwed up. -looks at Chickenzilla-

Chickenzilla: BA-COOOOOOCCCKKKKKK!! -starts pecking the ground-

Chicken Man: Hahahahahahahah!! Die, Sanzo Party!!

-Chickenzilla chases after the Sanzo Party pecking at them-

Gojyo: -running away from Chickenzilla again- This is SO weird!!

Sanzo: Weird?! Far stranger then just 'weird'!! -shoots gun at chicken-

-all bullets miss Chickenzilla for it has super, chicken, ninja moves-

Sanzo: Damn!

-all the little chickens are running after them too-

Hakkai: Sanzo, don't shoot the chickens!! That would be mean!! -running also-

Sanzo: ARE YOU CRAZY?!

Hakkai: -very calmly- Yes.

-all stare at Hakkai; Hakkai smiles his traditional Hakkai smile-

Chicken Man: MUHUHAHAHAHAH!! Kill them!!

-Chickenzilla grabs Goku with his beak and throws him-

Gojyo: Goku!!

-Goku hit's a rock then falls to the ground-

Goku: -dizzy- That was fun. -slowly gets up-

Gojyo: Fun? Man, everyone is crazy.

-all run and scream-

Hakuryu: Kyu? -he looks at Chickenzilla; love music starts to play- Kyu. -happy as a cucumber- -flies over and sits on a branch near Chickenzilla- Kyu?

-Chickenzilla looks at Hakuryu; love at first sight-

Chickenzilla: Ba-cock. -walks over to Hakuryu; Hakuryu flies up and caresses Chickenzilla(is that possible?)-

Hakuryu: -lovey-dovey- Kyu.

Chickenzilla: -lovey-dovey- Ba-cock.

Hakkai: What's going on? -looks at Hakuryu and Chickenzilla-

Gojyo: I think Hakuryu is putting the moves on that chicken and isn't doing that bad of a job too.

Hakuryu: Kyu. -nudges Chickenzilla-

Chicken Man: Chickenzilla?

Hakkai: It looks like he really likes her. -still staring-

Sanzo: I guess…he likes big women. -stares at Chickenzilla-

Hakkai: Indeed.

Goku:-happy- Awe, he's in love. -sigh- That's so wonderful. -smiles-

Gojyo: What? Are you okay? He's sweet talk'n a giant CHICKEN!!

Goku: Well, I thinks it's sweet that he can love her even if she is a little strange.

Gojyo: A little?

Sanzo: This is gross. -watchs Hakuryu-

Chicken Man: CHICKENZILLA!! Stop your playing around and finish them!!

-Chickenzilla looks at Hakuryu-

Hakuryu: Kyu. -looks at her with the 'Please, don't hurt my servants.' look-

-Chickenzilla walks over to Chicken Man and steps on him-

Everyone: Ouch!

Gojyo: Holy-!

Goku: Okay…that was gross. -grossed out-

Chickenzilla: Be-cock. -walks back over to Hakuryu-

Hakkai: Well, I guess that's over.

Gojyo: Ew. I guess so. -still in shock-

-all the little chickens start pecking the ground-

Sanzo: Now, what to do with him. -points at Hakuryu-

Gojyo: I don't know, but if we leave him with Chickenzilla there will be some freaky, mutant babies on the way.

Goku: Yeah.

-Chickenzilla and Hakuryu are cuddling-

Hakkai: Hakuryu, we have to go.

Hakuryu: Kyu? (translation: What? Now?)

Hakkai: Come on. You can visit Chickenzilla later.

Hakuryu: KYU! (translation: NO!)

Hakkai: Please, Hakuryu. We need you. Please, come to daddy.

Hakuryu: -sigh- Kyu. (translation: Okay.)

Gojyo: Daddy?

Sanzo: Freaky. -shudders-

Goku: That's not right.

Hakkai: Say, 'good-bye' and then lets go.

-Hakuryu looks at Chickenzilla-

Hakuryu: Kyu. -Dragon kisses Chickenzilla- (translation: I'll be back. I love you.)

Everyone: EW!

Chickenzilla: Ba-cock. (translation: I'll miss you, my love.)

-Hakuryu flies back onto Hakkai shoulder-

Hakkai: Don't worry Hakuryu you'll see her again.

Hakuryu: Kyu. -turns into jeep form-

Hakkai: Alright, everyone! Lets be off.

-all get into Hakuryu-

Gojyo: Well, today was really odd.

Goku: Yeah, I didn't even get to eat that big chicken. -sigh-

Hakuryu: -pissed- KYU!!

Sanzo: Goku, you made him mad.

Goku: Oh, sorry.

**At an inn……………………(10:00 pm.)**

Goku: -pissed- AHHHHGGG!! HAKURYU, YOU BASTARD!! YOU PEED IN MY SHEETS!! -runs out of bedroom is disgust-

Hakkai: You deserved that.

Hakuryu: -mockingly- Kyu, Kyu, Kyuuuuu. -smiles-

Goku: You stupid, stupid. -mad and stomps back into bedroom-

**Back at that Random Forest……………………**

-Chicken Man crawls out of the crater-

Chicken: You'll pay for that Sanzo Party, YOU'LL PAY!! MUHUHAHAHAHA-!! -falls back into crater- Ouch.

--

To be continued in chapter 3!!

**Urasai: To our favorite Bad Guy…..**

Gojyo: Hey, I've been thinking……

Sanzo: Amazing.

Gojyo: Shut up!!

Hakkai: What have you been thinking about?

Gojyo: Shouldn't we send a present to Kougaiji. You know, to be nice.

Goku: That sounds fun!! What should we send him?

Hakkai: Hmmmmm………I got it!!

Goku & Gojyo: What, what? -they huddle around Hakkai-

**At Houtou Castle……**

Yaone: Kougaiji-sama, a package is here for you.

Kougaiji: A package? I never get mail. -takes package and opens it- -pissed and sarcastic- Oh, nice. -(the Sanzo Party photo copied their butts and sent him the pictures) the note says: "To our favorite Bad Guy… Love-the Sanzo Party"-

Yaone: Oh, my.

Kougaiji: Jerks. -mad as hell-


End file.
